Overcoming Separation Anxiety: A Guide to Help Your Dog Stay Calm Alone

Separation anxiety in dogs is one of the most common behavioural disorders our canine friends experience [1]. In fact, up to 85% of dogs have trouble coping with being left alone, with many of their owners knowing nothing about their suffering. Whilst some exhibit no symptoms, others range from mild to severe, leaving their humans wondering how to help them cope.

In this guide Caroline Spencer, canine behaviourist with ProDog, walks you through every aspect of separation anxiety in dogs: what to watch out for, reasons why your dog may be feeling anxious, and how you can help them recover. With decades of experience helping dogs with separation anxiety Caroline’s approach is as much about building your confidence in leaving your dog as it is about your dog being confident alone at home.

Recognising the signs of separation anxiety
Depending on your dog’s past experiences and their individual disposition, separation anxiety can manifest in a variety of ways [2]. These can range from undeniably anxious behaviours to no outward signs whatsoever, leaving you none the wiser. This makes it more difficult to measure the magnitude of separation anxiety in dogs, as they all express their emotional distress uniquely. It’s helpful to utilise a camera or recording device so you can film your dog when they are alone. This will enable you to see first hand if they are settled and happy or in distress whilst you’re away.

There are both obvious and not-so-obvious signs of separation anxiety in dogs. These range in severity, and may include:

Mild
Following people (or a certain person) around while at home
Lack of interest in the morning meal
Yawning
Over exuberant greeting behaviours upon your return

Moderate
Agitation in response to your departure routine (pacing, panting, etc.)
Panting
Hair loss
Intermittent barking/howling

Severe
Panting, drooling
Shaking
Constant barking
Soiling in the home
Destructive behaviours (digging/scratching/chewing at doorways or skirting boards, ripping up furniture, raiding the rubbish)
Self-injurious behaviours (as a result of attempting to escape)

Whether your dog is exhibiting these behaviours or you otherwise suspect they’re experiencing separation anxiety, helping them to become more comfortable when alone can go a long way towards relieving their stress. We’ll discuss how to stop your dog’s separation anxiety later in the article.

Identifying potential triggers and causes of separation anxiety
Though it may not be possible to pinpoint the exact cause, there are certain factors that contribute to dogs developing separation anxiety. Aside from some early life experiences and genetic dispositions, it’s often unconscious human behaviours that trigger our dogs the most.

First and foremost, it’s important to establish whether they are simply lonely, guarding the home, fearful when alone in a certain space, unwell, vulnerable as a puppy or older dog, feel confined in a crate, or are sound sensitive.

Dogs experiencing separation anxiety have a hyper-attachment to one member of the family. When this special person prepares to leave, the anxious behaviours begin, even if other family members are still home. The anxiety felt by their special human also has an effect on the dog’s emotional state, creating a cycle of distress for both parties. This
means you have the power to help your dog’s separation anxiety through awareness of (and ultimately, changing) your actions.

Here are some of the most common causes of separation anxiety in dogs:

• Overindulging our dogs with constant attention, activities and affection, this decreases their ability to cope with alone time, feeling as if they always have to be “switched on” in our presence
• Constantly watching our dogs, resulting in them being on alert at all times and unable to rest properly
• Looking at dogs before walking away, creating a “recall effect” and making them needy, feeling as if they have to follow us around
• Leaving a new dog or puppy alone too soon without gradually weaning them off the constant company they’re used to causes shock and confusion
• Humans being anxious to leave their dog alone, making a big fuss out of their departure
• Ageing dogs may feel more vulnerable, less able to cope with being alone
• Prepartum and early life experiences. Including stressed mothers, abusive/neglectful breeders, or puppy farm environments

Why some dogs can’t cope when left alone
There are many reasons why dogs may find it difficult to cope when left at home alone. As every dog is different, their individual experiences of various stimuli (or lack thereof) can contribute to their emotional state, as can their reaction to an empty home. Here are a few examples:

Frustration
Many dog owners choose a specific room, area of the home, or crate to put their dogs in while they’re away. This makes sense, as there are times when we don’t want our dogs to have the run of the house. Plus, a smaller space enables them to sleep peacefully, so limiting their movements works well for them. However, being left in a small space such as a shut crate becomes too confining to some dogs, causing them to feel frustrated with their lack of choice.

This can potentially be resolved by simply leaving the crate open, allowing them access to the whole room, and giving them more freedom to choose where they rest.

Also, ensuring that they’re in a room or area away from the front of the house reduces their anxiety, especially when they’ve had appropriate enrichment before your departure. Dogs with their needs met are more likely to use their alone time for sleeping, and are less likely to feel anxious, frustrated or bored.

Outside triggers
Some dogs are natural defenders of their territory, often barking at or otherwise reacting to noises that come from outdoors. This can be a neighbour walking by, people talking near the home, or even the sound of a car door closing. These triggers can’t really be eliminated, but it is possible to soften your dog’s reactions to them and minimise their stress.

Preventing access to those rooms that reveal passersby and playing calming music on low volume will help relax your dog. This way, they’re less likely to be disturbed by outside influences and triggers, making home a more peaceful place when alone.

Specific fears
Like humans, dogs can have fears that don’t always seem rational to us. A negative experience whilst in a certain room of the house, loud noises from neighbours, and other seemingly innocent stimuli can cause a fear response in dogs, leaving a negative imprint on them emotionally. Being left alone with no way to cope with these fears can sometimes result in symptoms of separation anxiety when it’s actually not; they’re simply responding to their fear.

Thankfully, these fears don’t always have to remain for the duration of dogs’ lives. Positive reinforcement training methods, such as desensitisation and counter conditioning, can help them to overcome their fearful reactions [3]. However, removing them from the room they fear and placing them in an area where they can feel safe is the better option when they’re alone and without your support.

Differentiating separation anxiety and other behavioural issues
There are many behavioural issues that are commonly confused with separation anxiety in dogs, leaving humans perplexed as to what exactly their dog is feeling. If symptoms of separation anxiety are present whilst a dog’s humans are home, they may be exhibiting other issues that aren’t separation-related [4].

For example, behaviours such as: barking at passersby or outsiders approaching the home may signal guarding issues; drooling and panting during a thunderstorm or fireworks may signal noise phobias; even defecating in the house and destructive behaviours can be attributed to other sources of stress. Identifying the cause and specific times dogs exhibit stress-related behaviours is a helpful first step in resolving these issues.

Preparation is key
Before beginning dog training for separation anxiety, there are a few key points to consider. These will help you to prepare for the journey ahead:

• This process is about human anxiety just as much as it is our dogs’ emotional state. As our anxiety fuels theirs, becoming more confident in leaving your dog will help the both of you.
• Between each stage, it’s important to allow your dog to return to a calm state. A touch of your hand to reassure them can help, as can simply allowing them to relax without instruction; they need to get there on their own time.
• Remember to avoid eye contact with your dog as you move around, as this will help them feel less inclined to follow you.
• Incorporate these actions into your day, making the process feel as natural as possible to your dog.
• Closing doors behind you shows your dog they’re not required to follow you. After a short period of time, even as little as 15 seconds, opening the door will offer them the choice to follow, taking the pressure off of them.
  When in any room with your dog, close the door. This eliminates their ability to wander about, reducing the need to check/guard their territory, and encouraging a feeling of safety.
• Sit close to a door or window with dogs that have a tendency to exhibit waiting/guarding behaviours.
• What you do or don’t do when with your dog can either set them up for success or failure when they’re alone.
• Begin every session with the first goal. Over time, the rest/non-reaction period will become longer.
• Play music on low volume always, so when leaving a room it still has some substance as opposed to total emptiness. Only putting music on when you leave becomes a trigger for anxiety.

Building positive associations with alone time: “Take the Sting Out of Leaving”

The following process is taken from the book Why Does My Dog Do That?  by ProDog’s canine behaviourist Caroline Spencer [11] and consists of four main goals designed to be worked toward gradually. It’s understandable to have expectations of your own; put these to one side with all canine education and dog training for separation anxiety. All work best when dogs are allowed to go at their own pace. This will be different for each dog, so patience and consistency are key to your dog’s success.

First goal: Desensitise your dog to your movements
Often times when we’re at home, we sit in one place for long periods of time; whether we’re working, on the phone, or watching TV. We engage with our dogs as we do this, leaving them little opportunity to rest and be content with their own company. This exercise will desensitise your dog to your movements, giving them a chance to become more independent and confident.

• Disregard your dog for as long as it takes for them to find a place to rest on their own.
• You may need to place the palm of your hand gently on their side or pop them on a lead to stop them pacing and help them relax in one spot.
• Place their bed next to you as a focal point for them to rest easily.
• Once they’re settled, start making small movements that don’t represent an immediate exit. Some examples might be stretching at your desk, adjusting yourself in your seat, making a small noise, or crossing/uncrossing your legs.
  As you do this, monitor your dog’s reactions while continuing to avoid eye contact (peripheral vision works best).
• If your dog jumps up and is at your side immediately, simply reassure them with a calm touch, such as resting the palm of your hand on their side.
• Remain silent, so as not to interrupt their train of thought. They will likely go back to resting within a short period of time.
• Increase your movements gradually over time, going as fast or slow as your dog needs you to.
  The less they react to your movements, the more you’ll be able to progress forward; it may take as long as four hours or as little as 20 minutes for you to be able to walk around freely without a reaction.
• Every dog is different and will respond in accordance with how anxious/relaxed they are, and how anxious or relaxed you are.
• Intermittently, do call your dog for affection and all the usual things your dog needs during their day.

Second goal: Leave a room and return without stressing your dog
This goal will also be achieved at the pace of your dog’s comfort level. The main objective is to avoid them becoming stressed to the point of crossing their individual threshold, or the point where they begin exhibiting anxious behaviours. For this reason, the step-by-step process must be followed gradually, progressing only when your dog responds without a stressful reaction.This will likely take a few weeks, or longer for some dogs.

• It is important to work on the doors within your home initially.
• Walk towards the door. Touch it, and return to your seat.
• Once your dog relaxes again, repeat. Continue repeating until they remain relaxed and non-reactive.
  Walk to the door and open it. Close it again, and return to your seat. Once they’re comfortable with this step, move on.
• Exit the door and close it behind you, returning after a second.
• Build up gradually, a few seconds at a time.
• Incorporate small tasks into the exercise, such as retrieving laundry, doing the ironing, gathering ingredients for the family meal as the time you are able to spend outside the door increases.
• Ensure your dog is settled before each exit.

Third goal: Leave the house without stressing your dog
Once the second goal has been achieved, it’s time to progress to leaving the house. Initially, this will be for a few seconds at a time, as with the previous exercise. Again, gauge how fast or slow to progress by how anxious or relaxed your dog’s responses are. This step should only begin once you’re able to leave the room for at least 10 minutes without stressing your dog.

• Desensitise to all triggers of leaving, what you wear to what you carry etc.
• Exit the room, shutting the door behind you then open and shut the front door, returning to the room your dog is in.
• Do not fuss over your dog upon exiting or returning. If your dog is anxious, a calm hand on their side will help them relax again.
• Progress a few seconds at a time, as your dog remains relaxed.
• Increase time from seconds to minutes as you are able.
• When your dog can be left alone safely for the time it takes to walk to another entrance, return through a different door if possible.
• Increase time outside gradually.

Fourth goal: Leave in the car (or on foot)
This exercise uses the same gradual process, going as fast or slow as your dog is comfortable with. Once you’re able to be outside for 15 minutes or so, progress through these steps.

• Continue to desensitise your dog to you leaving, clothing, keys, bags etc.
• Open the car door and shut it. Return home.
• Turn the engine on and off. Return home.
• Drive away and return after a few minutes, entering the home with no fuss.
• Increase time away gradually, going by your dog’s level of comfort (as well as your own).
• If on foot, simply increase the time and distance gradually with every time your dog remains relaxed.

Throughout this process, take your time and be patient, relaxed, and positive. These exercises, done gradually, will allow you to become familiar with your dog’s level of relaxation, giving you both more confidence every time you leave.

The more support you can give your dog during this process the better. Setting them up for success as you work your way through the desensitisation protocol will contribute to their relaxation, allowing them to spend more time with a peaceful frame of mind. This contributes to their learning and confidence, and a positive cycle can replace the negative one. Here are a few more tools to incorporate into your dog’s relaxation routine:

• Massage, such as T-Touch
• Calming background music, such as piano with Lisa Spector, classical, reggae, soft rock, or Taiko drums
• Calming herbal products, such as Pet Remedy or Dermadog’s Hush Calming Spray

In addition, the following actions will help your dog relax even further when they’re alone:
Create a safe space for them
Giving your dog their own den-like space to relax in will bring a sense of protection and safety when you’re away. Encourage them to use it while you’re home as well, so they associate a positive feeling with being there. Adding treats, toys, and their favourite pillows/blankets/etc. can all signal to your dog that this is their very own area of the house to be enjoyed.

Crates can be very helpful for dogs with separation anxiety, especially if they’re used to them and can relax in their crate. However, we recommend leaving crates open (or even better, with the door removed) so as to make it a choice rather than confinement. To help your dog associate it with a safe place to rest, feed them their meals and treats from the crate.

Encourage relaxation with familiar scents
Familiar scents are comforting to dogs, especially when they can’t be with you. Something with your scent such as an old t-shirt, scarf, or jumper provides your dog with the comfort you represent, making them feel less alone when you’re gone. Leaving these items in their safe space makes it that much more relaxing for them.

Address any noise/environmental triggers
If your dog reacts to noises or other outside triggers, try to address them before leaving whenever possible. Blocking access to windows, putting dogs in a quiet area of the home, and playing relaxing music on low volume can all contribute to your dog’s ability to relax while you’re gone.

The link between exercise and decreased anxiety
Many dogs exhibit separation anxiety behaviours when they’re simply under-exercised [5]. Ensuring your dog gets sufficient exercise on a regular basis increases the likelihood of them simply snoozing the day away, versus feeling wound up and anxious the whole time you’re gone. Taking them on long walks or jogs, playing fetch with them in the garden, or enrolling in agility courses all contribute to their exercise requirements, and can make the difference between a relaxed day at home and an anxious one.

However, dogs can also become over-exercised and over-stimulated, so it’s important to gain a good balance of sleep, exercise and enrichment. Over-exercising dogs can actually cause them to be more anxious, as can over-stimulating them mentally. Therefore, it’s important to know your dog’s unique requirements, which can vary quite a bit depending on age, breed, and fitness levels.

Also, many dogs don’t get nearly enough sleep; they should be sleeping for approximately half the day [6], which is hard to do in a busy household! Going through the solution for separation anxiety above also teaches your dog to relax when the house is busy, so they can still get the right amount of sleep whether you’re home or not.

Enrichment activities to engage your dog’s mind
Mental stimulation is just as important as physical exercise for dogs. Whilst it’s not a good idea to leave them alone with food or treats, you can help them to fulfil their mental stimulation needs while you’re at home if you’re unable to take them out for play or a walk and sniffy time.

This will contribute to their overall relaxation, including when they’re left alone. Feeding them treats from a LickiMat, providing long-lasting chews or raw bones as you supervise, or offering puzzle toys appropriate for your dog’s abilities will all stimulate their problem-solving skills. However, play with you is far more beneficial to their mental well-being, so incorporating this into your day will be even better [7].

Incorporating play/exercise into a pre-departure routine
Ensuring dogs are exercised for at least 30 minutes before leaving them alone helps them to expel their energy and enriches their day. Also, waiting another 30 minutes before departing will further allow them to get into a relaxed frame of mind, slowing down your departure and ensuring they are settled.

Low impact walks and sniffy time are much more calming than high arousal games like fetch. If your dog is reactive, be mindful of walking in places where your dog can connect to you and enjoy their time outside. The aim is not to exhaust your dog and drive up adrenaline, but to relax your dog by meeting their needs.

Building your dog’s confidence
A lot can be said about the power of scent training. Allowing dogs to use their noses to problem solve and work things out for themselves is a huge confidence booster, and can do a lot to provide peace of mind in anxious dogs. Incorporating a couple of short sessions into the day can increase your dog’s confidence over time, gradually reducing any underlying anxieties they may have (including separation anxiety).

The benefits of positive reinforcement training for anxious dogs
Positive reinforcement training benefits all dogs: it gives them the chance to make their own choices without the risk of being punished for mistakes, and boosts their confidence through rewarding desired behaviours. This is especially true for anxious dogs who view the world as a scary place, and helps to bring them out of their shells.

Free work, sniffy and licky time
Discovering hidden treats scattered in long grass and between trees and shrubs, in, on and around obstacles and different surfaces in the garden or house is a great stress reliever for dogs. Set the scene and let them simply do their thing. Time to just be themselves without interruption from us provides space for natural movement and confidence building, aiding them in becoming less anxious.

Adding another dog to the family
It’s understandable to think that adding a second (or third) dog to your home will help your dog’s separation anxiety. However, the reason for your dog’s anxiety may be more complex than pure loneliness: they may be missing you in particular, which another dog won’t help with. Also, another dog means more responsibility for you, and anxieties can easily be transferred to your new dog. Therefore, this is best left for after your current dog is in a better emotional state.

Leaving them alone without support
Separation anxiety in dogs is equally upsetting for the owners. However, it’s crucial that your anxious dog not be left alone in distress. The idea of letting them “cry it out” (or rather, bark) does nothing to help their anxiety. Follow the advice above, and when you need to go out before you’ve resolved their separation anxiety, either take them with you or leave them with someone who can help support them. This also helps you avoid transferring any anxieties towards your dog, as you’ll be happier to leave them knowing they’re in good company.

Correcting your dog for their anxiety
Your dog is not being naughty, your dog is simply expressing their feelings. Corrections/aversive training techniques do not help anxious dogs. These methods make any dog anxious, including the most even-tempered ones [8]. For this reason, creating an anxiety-producing environment for a dog that’s already fearful does nothing but make the situation worse, damaging your bond with them in the process.
Using gadgets to communicate while you’re away

Pet tech is incredibly clever, and some of it can even be helpful. However, when anxious dogs can hear your voice without being able to see and scent you, it can contribute to worsened symptoms of separation anxiety. This is because they’re anxious to find you and when they can’t it confuses them, further contributing to their anxiety.

Leaving them alone with long-lasting chews
An anxious dog will rarely chew or eat; they’re more likely to chew your doorways or couch, if anything. Long-lasting chews are a great way to add enrichment to your dog’s day, providing them with mental stimulation and valuable chewing exercise. However, these should always be given under your supervision, so as to avoid any choking hazards or swallowing big chunks that can cause intestinal obstructions.

When to contact a veterinarian, canine behaviourist or nutritionist
If you’ve worked on the “Take the Sting Out of Leaving” method and are stuck or frustrated, seeking professional help is a good idea. Your holistic veterinarian may suggest herbal dog anxiety medication to help your canine friend’s emotional state, or refer you to a canine behaviourist who can suggest further solutions. Likewise, if your dog is experiencing severe separation anxiety or you feel as if the situation is out of control, contact a holistic vet, canine nutritionist or experienced canine behaviourist for help.

Combining professional advice with at-home strategies
The advice given by a professional can go hand in hand with at-home methods, giving you and your dog an even better chance of reducing their anxiety. If you choose this combined approach, discuss the techniques you’re using at home with the professional you go to so that they can adjust their protocol accordingly.

Understanding that overcoming separation anxiety is a process
It’s easy (and understandable) to want immediate results when dealing with separation anxiety in dogs. Your quality of life is affected by separation anxiety just as much as theirs, and you want them to feel better sooner rather than later. However, your patience throughout this process is a key factor to your dog’s success, and taking it slow will yield the best results.

Log progress along the way
When dealing with anxious dogs, it’s important to log their wins, no matter how small they may seem. Every step along the gradual road to success is a sign that your dog is making progress, and that they’re on the road to recovery. This mentality will help you to remain positive and relaxed throughout the process, which is key to your dog’s improvement.

Staying committed to supporting your dog’s emotional well being
Helping a dog with separation anxiety is a commitment. Some may resolve their dog’s anxiety completely, whilst other dogs might require longer term management. Whatever the case is for your dog, staying the course will positively impact their emotional wellbeing, allowing them to be the best possible version of themselves.

Helping your dog feel safe alone
Whilst separation anxiety can prove difficult for both dog and owner, there is hope. Utilising the methods detailed in this article will help start the recovery process on the right foot (or paw). You can also enlist the help of a veterinarian, nutritionist or behaviourist for additional support.

Remembering to be patient, persistent, and understanding of your dog’s needs during this time will help you to remain relaxed and positive, setting your dog up for success in the long run. You can now look ahead to a brighter future for you and your dog: one where you can both enjoy life more fully!